Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Jackson Browne, July 13, 2009 Danbury, CT

Tonight I'm at a Jackson Browne concert at Western Connecticut State University. This is without a doubt the smallest venue I've ever seen an established "star" at. It is basically a big gazebo with 25 rows of folding chairs in front of the stage. This is the venue a band plays on the way up. When they live in a van and eat beef jerky to survive.

My 11 year is excited to be here but only because he likes going to concerts. There is no way he knows who this guy is. He isn't on Guitar Hero and his music is more likely to be heard over the PA at the supermarket than on a classic rock station. This definitely the oldest crowd I've been with this concert season. Makes me feel young though I saw the official sponsor of his tour is Geritol.

Nevertheless it's a beautiful night, the beer is cold and Jackson is banging Tender is the Night. Not bad on a Monday.

Jackson is employing a technique that has come quite common for singers 60ish years old. He's not only relying on his background singers to beef up the vocals, he's letting them sing entire songs that were once signature songs of his. On a rational level I understand the necessity of this. Given his age and touring schedule it isn't reasonable to expect his pipes to be that strong. Three/four shows a week is a grind for anyone, much less a member of the AARP.

However Jackson didn't charge a discounted rate for this show, he charged full boat so I would like the Full Monty. Jimmy Buffett does this as well and I think it sucks. Buffett has a background singer named Nadirah Shakoor. She has been with him for 20 years and Parrotheads love her. Nevertheless when she put out an album where she covered her favorite Buffett songs it sold about 500 copies. No one, not even Parrottheads were interested. We're fans of the stars and admirers of the company. That's an enormous difference. No one is paying $150 to watch Buffett be the rhythm guitar player or Jackson be the piano player. We'll applaud when he introduces the band, but that's where it ends.

The only band that ever pulls this off is the Rolling Stones. Keith has a handful of songs he sings, Happy, Gonna Walk Before They Make Me Run. The band breaks these out so Mick can run backstage and suck on an oxygen tank for 5 or 10 minutes. It works because these are in fact, Keith's songs and he is just as big a part of the Stones as Mick.

Of course the use of a pinch hitter to sing for a 60 year old rock star raises other questions. Do these guys use pinch hitters for other aspects of their lives. Rock stars live hard lives. They make some money by the time they are 60 but it's come at expense of taking a lot of tread off the tires. I assume most of these guys have trophy wives in their mid twenties. Can they use a pinch hitter for their husbandly duties? Do they hire some young dude to help with the kids' home work and to warm up the wife? Once you start down the slope of letting other people do your job it's difficult to stop.

Can't tell which Jackson Browne we are getting tonight. Late 70s and early 80s Jackson was the MAN and often recognized as one of the top song writers of the era. At that point the topic of his songs was the harshness and absurdity of LA life. Running on Empty, Boulevard and even Lawyers in Love were all commercial and artistic successes. Alongside the Eagles and Warren Zevon, Jackson was the hottest act from LA.

However, by the mid 80s he decided his fans were so interested in what he had to say that he would sing exclusively about his global and political beliefs. This decision had the unintended consequence of driving his career off a cliff. Obviously global awareness was very en vogue at the time. Remember the Live Aid concerts? Actually the title "We Are the World" shows the hubris of American artists but I digress...

In the 80s most bands learned the most important lesson of social consciousness which was no matter how far you stretch it, nothing rhymes with "Nicaragua" or "Sandinista". Even Bono knew this. Instead Jackson committed career suicide by forcing the issue in his music and no one cared. This probably explains why James Taylor is beloved and sells out nationwide whereas Jackson finds himself playing a venue a little larger than a high school auditorium tonight.

Springsteen, May 21, 2009 Izod Arena, NJ

Springsteen tonight. Not expecting as much blogging as I am not flying solo. Also there were some isolated calls to have an intervention with me to stop this exercise. In response to these efforts I say NEVER!! However I will shorten the distribution list.

Tonight's initial theme going into the concert is the difficult transition from professional attire to concert wear. My primary concern is that I look like an idiot. I've gone to numerous concerts directly from the office and the transition has always been a challenge. I've been to MSG shows where dudes are still in business suits which is beyond lame. If you are going to wear a blazer to a concert you should be attending a John Tesh concert, not Bruce, Buffett or a similar performer.

My problem is that I'm such a formal person at the office. I wear a suit and tie 99% of the time. Any other person at my office would wear jeans to work and go straight to the show. For me dressing down for work means a sports coat and tie as opposed to a suit. Think Frank Drebin in the 1st Naked Gun movie. To the people I work with the sight of me in jeans, cowboy boots, and t-shirt would create endless ridicule so I'm forced to be covert in this endeavor.

Essentially I pull the Superman move by ducking into the equivalent of a phone booth looking like Clarke Kent and reappearing as superfan. In my case I go down to the storage room in the basement of my office building, ditch the suit and don my boots to complete the transformation. It's amazing I'm 40 years old and still playing games like this but you gotta do what you gotta do...

Preppiest crowd I've ever seen. Obviously it's not the Dead, country or even Buffett. Keep in mind Born to Run came out in 1975 which will tell you how old this joint is.

In terms of criticism can I suggest Bruce is on steroids or HGH. Women look at thin women and say eating disorder, or they see big boobs and call them fake. Bruce's biceps are Hulk Hoganesque. He's 60. Is making that suggestion going to have lighting strike me?

I'm on the floor as opposed to regular seats. Now considering I'm a borderline (or over the boarder) alcoholic my experience might be different. So I guess if you want to get close to the stage, you forsake beer and bathroom breaks. I've already made 70 enemies moving 20 yards into the crowd. I'd love to be 40 yards from the stage, but the cost (lack of beer) is too high.

Strong shout to the Community Food Bank of New Jersey which one of my oldest friend's mother started 30 years ago out of her station wagon in Summit, NJ. In 25 years of going to see Bruce he has never failed to mentioned Kathleen DiChiara and the NJ food bank.

Unfair to rank Bruce concerts for me. I'm certain to have seen him almost 20 times and saying a show is not top ten is not a disparaging comment. Nevertheless this show falls in the middle, maybe towards the back.

A question for everyone who says Bruce is a great guy in real life. How can you keep your ego in check when every time you show up to work people go insane and scream your name. Between the roids and the adulation I would expect him to be a megalomaniac.

Also 25 years of Bruce and 1st time I've ever heard Jungleland live. Quite the bonus.

Keith Urban, May 7, 2009 Uncasville, CT

Tonight I find myself in Uncasville, CT for a country concert of Keith Urban and Sugarland. Sugarland isn't here which is something that requires further explanation. I really love the crowds you find at country music concerts. It's hard to believe that people like this exist in the Northeast. Cowboy boots and hats, lots of yee haws and good ol' boys. While I've moved higher geographically from the previous concerts in NJ, the crowd's IQ is lower by double that amount. Right now the opening act is singing a song called "Big Green Tractor" and the crowd loves it. Begs the question of where did these people come from. Lest I become too critical I need to remember I paid money to be here as well.

So I drove almost two hours to get here and I'm a bigger Sugarland fan than I am a Keith Urban fan. Don't get me wrong, I love Keith Urban but Sugarland has been living towards the top of my playlist for the past year. Nevertheless as much as I am a Sugarland fan I was somewhat conflicted about the concert. You see Sugarland is a duo: Jennifer Nettles and some bald guy. The fact that they are officially a "duo" means I'm not a fan of some chick band. At least that's the fig leaf of a rationalization I use.

You see I would never want to go to a chick show on my own. I picture all chick concerts like going to see the Spice Girls where everyone jumps and down screaming GIRL POWER!! The little bald dude makes them a non chick band, even if no one knows who the hell he is.

The other manly aspect of the concert is Keith Urban. Do you realize he's sponsored by Kingsford charcoal. C'mon, you've got to be a real dude to be sponsored by a company in the barbecue business. I'd say he's also a stud because he's married to Nicole Kidmann but Tom Cruise was as well. Still I assume she was tired of being Cruise's beard. Keith Urban is also an Aussie. If it sounds like I have a little man crush I wouldn't go that far. He's no Phil Mickelson.

I think the combo of a somewhat chick band and hot male singer explains the crowd here. The women outnumber the men 3 to 1. Older crowd as well. Maybe they should rename the tour Cougarville.

The attire certainly has changed from the other concerts I've seen this spring. We had the Acid wash Jersey girls, the crunchy, unshowered and unshaven Deadhead women. Here it's the classic country look. Tank tops, fake boobs, fake blonds but real tatoos.

So I was about to criticize Keith Urban for numerous things. First he came out with the lame "Rock concert manifesto #3!" Which I've only seen about 70 times :he started out with a "Hello _________ ( fill in the blank)" and in this case he said "Uncasville!" Dude, the only people in the arena from Uncasville are the casino workers. The entire town is an Indian reservation dependent on the casino for employment. I'm sorry to be redundant but every performer needs to study the lessons of Augustus Concertus, aka Springsteen. When I saw him in Bridgeport it was "Hello Connecticut!" He was smart enough to know if 20% of the homes in Fairfield County owned Springsteen albums, .08% of these homes were in Bridgeport.

As for Urban, he strikes all the great guitar player moves. Important to note Urban is considered one of the great pickers in country music. Right up there with Brad Paisley and Vince Gill. I've seen everyone from Eddie Van Halen, Clapton in the 80s, Paul Anka to Pete Townsed. No doubt he certainly has all the moves: the windmill, soloing on his knees, multiple trips to rehab, and throwing picks into the crowd. It is only later into the show that he is breaking the tired formula.

So he broke from formula numerous ways which I'll go through quickly as I'm sure you're not that interested unless you go to as many shows as me. First, he has an Aussie accent which is very unusual. Let's face it in country every performer sounds the same when they speak, lots of "y'alls" and southern twang. Sounds so funny as I wait for a "shrimp on the barbie reference." Second, the dude has set up different microphones all over the arena. If this place is shaped like a box he stood on all four sides and played multiple songs. Hell, he played 2 songs twenty yards from me and I was too cheap to buy good seats. Third, show isn't totally scripted. He saw a couple with a sign about their 25 anniversary and brought them on stage. As typical in country music it was probably there 40th birthday as well.

Last thought as show winds down. I left my seat in row R and went all the way down to row C. Getting closer was part of the reason. The primary reason is - assumed I bought the ticket on Stub Hub from the guy next to me in Row R. I bought seat #1 on Tuesday on Stubhub. Whoever sells one seat on Stubhub two days before a show got stuck with an extra and had to dump it. Considering I bought a $150 face ticket for $90 I wasn't crazy about sitting next to someone who lost $60 in my favor. This may be a casino but I don't think that's what he had in mind.

Should I have offered to buy him a beer or just a standard reach around?

The Dead, April 29, 2009 Izod Arena, NJ

Certainly shorter entries because I didn't come alone for once. Nevertheless a absolute treasure chest of comedy. I've been to numerous concerts over the past 25 years but this is my first Dead show and it certainly is different. There is more dope being smoked here than a reggae festival. You have a contact high within 90 seconds of walking in here. The parking lot was insane. The pharmaceuticals being offered reminded me of Central Park in the mid 80s with more advanced chemistry. My favorite was the hard core Deadheads who don't want their picture taken; like the camera will steal a part of their soul.

Branford Marselies has been on stage with them for the last four songs and the man is incredible. His sound adds so much it's amazing.

I feel like the last non stoned person in NJ. Have to retract what I said 2 weeks ago about female attire at concerts in New Jersey. Clearly this audience is the exception. I've seen every look except for Bon Jovi acid wash. I've seen everything from Pipi Longstocking to Romanian Gypsy. There are women who have never put a razor to their arm pits and women in sequined dresses. Aside from no Bon Jovi look alikes I'd say there are no Vineyard Vines here as well. If they were they'd have beer or bong water poured all over their heads.

Likewise in a crowd of aging hipsters like this I'm average aged as opposed to an old fart. Middle age never felt so good (until we have to go to work tomorrow).

Marsalies in Space is crazy good.

DMB April 15, 2009 Izod Arena, NJ

I'm coming to you live from the Izod Arena (formerly Brendan Bryne) here in the swamps of Jersey. While I await the arrival of the Dave Matthews Band I am incredibly bored. However, the sights and sounds here are ripe with comedic overtones. As I don't have a real blog, you will suffer from my annoying emails until the show starts.

First observation - as I stepped out of my Mercedes station wagon holding my sparkling water in the parking lot I longed for a mirror so I could spy my reflection. After all I imagine this 40 year old version of me just screams, "ROCK n' ROLL!"

Observation 2 - I just paid $8 for a beer. I paid that much at the Crazy Horse in Vegas several years ago. I can promise you the opening act won't be nearly as entertaining as the act at the Crazy Horse.

Observation 3 - Who the hell is Eli Reed and why is he the opening act? In fact, why bother with an opening act? The 15 of us currently in the arena want to know and I suspect 10 of these people are related to someone in his band. You know how they let local youth hockey teams skate before the Devils play? They should stick to that model. The Nerds could attract more people to come in from the parking lot and those guys are older than me! (For non Jersey people the Nerds are a Jersey shore band and they've been around for 30 years. The original Nerds are probably dead but they get replaced like all the dogs who played Lassie.)

Observation 4 - Regardless of the year or the performer the female concert attire in New Jersey remains the same. Ralph Lauren wishes he could design a single item of clothing with this kind of staying power. I swear, if Andrea Boccelli were singing here tonight we would still be overwhelmed by acid wash and hair spray. I loved Bon Jovi as much as anyone but how did Slippery When Wet start such an enduring fashion revolution?

Observation 5 - The Concert t shirt. A little conflicted here. Those shirts cost big $$ and I am 40 years old. Obviously concert t-shirts were an absolute must in high school. At that point in my life I was concerned with my parachute pants, the few hair buds appearing on my chest and making certain my Who t-shirt wouldn't shrink. Now I'm debating whether my pants should be linen or gabardine, the hair moved to my back, and I laugh at people purchasing concert t-shirts. I suspect there should be an age limit on the concert t-shirt the same way there should be an age limit on wearing professional jerseys to sporting events. If an overweight 45 year old should probably put the Eli Manning jersey away when he goes to a Giants game, the same should hold true for the concert t-shirt. I'm open to suggestion as to what the appropriate age should be but can we soon reach a consensus? For all of our sakes.

My conflict is how uncool I am. The t-shirt tempts me as from recent events I no longer have any "cool" clothes. Obviously I am delusional as I haven't looked cool since I was wearing short sleeves in a snow storm. The t-shirt would be a masquerade, much like my beer goggles in college. Either way, by the light of day you simply can't put Mrs. Howell in Ginger's dress.

Mid concert note. DMB blew off the doors with a power packed version of Talking Heads' Burning Down the House. An absolute moment of smug superiority for me as the two 20 somethings next to me didn't know what was going on. Interesting as Buffett now opens with Once in a Lifetime. Shows Talking Heads reunion tour would be huge.

Observation 6 - Before you say, "we want to play something off our new album" why don't you just say, "if you need to go to the bathroom or want another beer it's a good time to go." Every band should follow the Bruce model. Release the CD 3 months before the tour. Give us a chance to learn the songs. The new DMB cd came out yesterday. The entire audience is clueless. Just shows, you never question Springsteen. Although he could have done better in terms of picking a hottie to have an affair with.